The End.

So here I am back in good ol' St. Louie, sitting on my gross old couch in my dusty apartment, so very happy to be home! Let's wrap things up while I can still remember what the heck happened that last week in Spain.
I big Michelle adieu one morning to depart on the 17 hour bus ride from Paris to Madrid, that I gotta say was not that bad! Right off the bat I watched this nutty Johnny Depp movie called dead man and Neil Young's strung-out guitar riffs throughout the movie put me in some kind of calm coma that kept me from wanting to die/kill others on a bus ride that long. That, or my seat buddy from the Ivory Coast who kept telling me how all humans are one being or something. I had to give him my email address just so he would stop trying to be so vaguely inspirational all night long.
After a really cinematic sisterly reunion (dropped all my luggage at the sight of her and practically tackled her to the ground), we went and got cafe leche and walked around Madrid, where everything was closed because of some festival. Went through a park, the empty streets, and took a super long nap. We almost went to mass twice but got the Protestant jitters and left... one of the cathedrals was so crazy looking! It was kind of like a really tall knick-knack shop with a bunch of nonsensical art that didn't match and was super gaudy. That night we checked out the HUGE water festival or irrigation day festival or whatever crazy festival was going on and the streets were packed.
The next day we did the Royal Palace and the Prado, with a picnic in the park in between. We sat on the grass and sunbathed whilst eating birthday treats and cheese and bread and wine and apples. It was a feast! Then the cops came and chased everyone who had gathered around us off and we watched a soccer (sorry FOOTBALL) match going on nearby. Soccer players! So cute! No matter what!
That night I think we found an Irish pub with a cute Scottish bartender... kind of camped out there...
The next day took us to Barcelona! We stayed in an adorable little hotel in an untouristy yet still classy as hell part of town where everyone was gay and there were palm tree murals all over the walls. Even though our room was the loudest place on Earth (right by the street and one room away from the common room), it was so adorable.
The first day we saw a street that was supposed to make you feel really disoriented by all the crazy architecture, an apartment building made by Gaudi, a really famous architect from the city who reminded me of Hunterwasser- he HATED straight lines and LOVED mosiacs. Continuing the tour of all Gaudi-related fair we went to his unfinished cathedral, I think it was called Santa Familia or something St. Family-esque. It was ENORMOUS and beautiful, especially on the inside. The design is supposedly so complicated and extensive that it won't be finished for another 50 years, if they have constant funding. I don't know, ask Rick Steves. He was nuts about it.
That night we went to see a brass band play at this Symphony Hall that was very flowery/mosiac-y/stained glass-y, i.e. everything in Barcelona. They played everything from Mozart to ragtime, and I really liked it, the MC-type guy was talking really fast in Spanish and I could only catch a few phrases but he was really cracking up the audience so all in all it gave me pretty good vibes.
The next day was the Picasso Museum (small, but worth it), Las Ramblas (a really long Market road you can barely walk down), a boat tour (of a bunch of oil rigs! wowie!), my first pitcher of Sangria (big, and worth it), a walk through a gorgeous park with a HUGE marble fountain of Poseidon and making Erin rent a row boat and row me around while I took pictures of her looking tough. We watched a lot of a crappy movie called Exit to Eden that made me realize how much good Rosie O'Donnell has done for cinema (a LOT) and rang in Erin's birthday at a Kebab/Tapas bar with shots she couldn't even finish. What a baby!
For Erin's birthday we went to a really fancy pants grocery store and bought a picnic feast round 2, and hiked up millions of miles of hills to get some lovely views of Barcelona. We drank champagne and ate more and more bread and cheese, and toured the park's Gaudi houses. We headed to the beach to be harrassed by Thai massage hounds and weirdo guys who liked Erin's blondey locks. It was pretty funny though, to see the Police come and all the massage chicks to go running and all the dudes illegally selling beer to throw themselves down in the sand and pretend like they were just maxin' and relaxin' alone with a giant cooler of beer. We napped, we got another pitcher of Sangria at a Lindsay Lohan-esque lounge, and then changed at home for a celebratory birthday night that was really more like a champagne chug-a-thon. Excellent end to a sunny sunny week!
The next morning we parted ways, and after a LOOOOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG 18 hour travel time, found myself on American soil again. I immediately made friends with some Moms from Cleveland, and when the Passport officer looked at where I'd been he said, "Wow. You've been gone a little while... Welcome home!" I almost cried.
I am going to miss Vienna very badly, and everywhere I've been (except maybe Bratislava), but it is so nice to be able to have smalltalk with gas station attendants.
That's all folks!